Our House & the Family Equality Council

Family Equality Council invited me to post about Our House on their blog. Read it here.

What the critics are saying about OUR HOUSE

"Uplifting!" - Entertainment Weekly

"Refreshing!" - Minneapolis Star Tribune

"Enlightening!" - Booklist

"Highly recommended!" - Library Journal

"Engaging... recommended!" - Video Librarian

"Thoughtful and terrifically important." - Gerald Peary, Film Critic & Author

"Real kids - how they are forced to think about what other kids don’t have to and how they have to deal with the world’s ideas about their parents." - San Francisco Examiner

"The children’s voices are loud, clear, revelatory. Raw, poignant, and humorous, this film will amaze, teach and inspire!" - Barbara Seyda, Co-author, Women in Love: Portraits of Lesbian Mothers and Their Families

What is OUR HOUSE?

Today, there are millions of children in the United States being raised by gay and lesbian parents. These families are at the heart of debates in courtrooms, schools and places of worship around the country as Americans struggle to define family values.

OUR HOUSE is a groundbreaking one-hour documentary that explores what it’s like to grow up with gay or lesbian parents. Traveling to urban, rural and suburban communities in Arizona, Arkansas, New Jersey and New York, OUR HOUSE profiles the sons and daughters of five families - African American, Latino and white; Mormon, Christian, and Jewish – who illustrate some of the diversity of America’s gay and lesbian families. OUR HOUSE premiered on public television in 2000, has screened in festivals all over the world, and is now available on DVD.

I bring my own personal history to the project; I grew up in rural Maine as the daughter of a lesbian mother (my mother and father separated when I was ten years old and my mother came out shortly after), and this project was many years in the making. To find the families in the documentary, we worked with COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) and used extensive grass roots contacts to reach almost 300 gay and lesbian families around the country.

Here are some OUR HOUSE FAQs

Why did you make the film?
I grew up with a lesbian mom (she came out after my parents divorced) and when I was younger I had a sense of frustration at not seeing families like mine in the media. For years I wanted to make a documentary that would discuss issues that gay and lesbian families face - from the point of view of the sons and daughters. I'd love for kids of gay and lesbian parents around the country to be able to watch OUR HOUSE and see some part of their lives reflected in this documentary.

I'd like to use OUR HOUSE to start conversations about children of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) parents. I believe that educating a larger public about our families and being visible will have a positive influence. I hope there will continue to be more films, books and documentaries that represent our families.

What do you hope people will learn?
There's very little understanding of the lives of children of gay and lesbian parents, and there's a lot of judgmental attitudes out there. That's what creates problems for these kids - there's nothing inherently problematic about having gay or lesbian parents. I think that people who watch OUR HOUSE will see five very normal families, who are facing the same ups and downs of any family along with the extra pressure of homophobia.

How did you find the families?
We spent about five months searching for families. It was important for me to represent diversity in terms of race, ethnicity, religion, socio-economics and geography. I also wanted to also to show the influence of a variety of factors - divorce, donor insemination, blended families, adoption, couples, single parents, second generation sons and daughters, young kids, teens and grown kids in a multitude of environments.

COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) was a great help and, with their help, we reached out to people through churches, advocacy organizations and LGBT centers. Nearly 300 families responded. I visited with dozens of families all over the country and then had to make some really hard choices to narrow down the group to five.

What resources exist for kids of LGBT parents?
There are a number of groups around the country that specifically address the needs of kids of LGBT parents. COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) is a great starting point. I believe it’s important for kids of gay parents to have a supportive community. Some of us are lucky to have that in our neighborhoods, cities or towns, but others need to seek that out. I encourage sons and daughters of any age to check out their resources. As an adult, I’m a member.

Have any of the subjects seen the film and, if so, what is their reaction?
All of the families in OUR HOUSE have seen the film and their responses have been very positive. Part of that is because I worked hard to find families who understood why I wanted to make this documentary, and were willing to be open and honest during the process.

Our House is now available on DVD!

Meema Spadola, here. I'm the director and producer of Our House, an hour-long documentary about kids with gay and lesbian parents, that premiered on public television in 2000. Now, at long last, Our House is available on DVD! The DVD features some great extras, including updates on the participating families, an interview with me and participant Ry Russo-Young, and info about resources for kids with LGBT parents.

I'll be posting more about Our House and the DVD, but in the meantime, I invite other sons and daughters with LGBT parents to share their stories here.